El Chupacabra: it could be worst 

	El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan 

El Chupacabra: yep I did
The BJ:all I can say is name on one hand how many phils did steroids in the past 5-10 years
The BJ:name on two hands how many yanks did
The BJ:they are not legit
El Chupacabra: Dykstra


The BJ:1
The BJ:and that was 16 years ago
El Chupacabra: and The fat one from baseball tonight
The BJ:Kruk did not
The BJ:quite obvious b/c he was fat
El Chupacabra: lol
El Chupacabra: that was camouflage for the roids
The BJ:lol
The BJ:no way
The BJ:he had nut cancer
The BJ:he did not do roids
The BJ:I think you need to look at yourself and the mirror and figure out what is important in life.
The BJ:I guarantee it’s not the Yanks
El Chupacabra: David Bell, Gary Bennett, Jr., Paul Byrd, Lenny Dykstra, Ryan Franklin, Jeremy Giambi, Jason Grimsley, Todd Pratt and Benito Santiago
The BJ:I said past 10 years
El Chupacabra: hey
El Chupacabra: they took’em
The BJ:we did not win shit with those guy
The BJ:guys
The BJ:Dykstra was the only one
The BJ:where did you get that list from?
El Chupacabra: all i have to say
El Chupacabra: is Riods were not illegal in baseball when they took them
El Chupacabra: for fans and the commissioner to get on their high horse now s BS
The BJ:it’s cheating
El Chupacabra: everyone benefited from the roids especially MLB
The BJ:Babe Ruth?
The BJ:Cy Young?
El Chupacabra: Like I said
El Chupacabra: they were not illegal
El Chupacabra: or a banned substance in MLB
The BJ:they did not take them and their records are being challenged
El Chupacabra: yes it’s fucked up
The BJ:that is my issue
The BJ:hey
El Chupacabra: but Selig needs to come off his high horse cause he knew about it and let it go on
El Chupacabra: till the senate got involved
The BJ:it’s like saying my web site is better than evil after I pay for a top dollar web designer
The BJ:and claiming I did it myself
The BJ:do you think Slappy would be happy about it?
El Chupacabra: He’s never happy
The BJ:HAHAHAHAHA
El Chupacabra: unless he’s getting paid
El Chupacabra: lol
The BJ:or drunk at a TT bar
El Chupacabra: or a reacharound
The BJ:or a dutch rudder
El Chupacabra: or a rusty trombone
The BJ:hot karl
El Chupacabra: and a dirty sanchez
The BJ:walrus
El Chupacabra: or performing the dolphin
The BJ:with a side of a cincinnati steamer
El Chupacabra: and across the river for a pittsburgh platter
The BJ:by way of a screwnicorn
El Chupacabra: and giving some chick the Indian goggles
The BJ:stuck
The BJ:damn!
El Chupacabra: lol
The BJ:roman helmet
The BJ:damnit that’s what I could not remember!
El Chupacabra: and then yelling the girl sister’s name and getting the bucking bronco
The BJ:yes!

* Bert Blyleven
* Andre Dawson
* Tommy John
* Don Mattingly
* Tim Raines
* Jim Rice
* Alan Trammell
* Matt Williams

That means he thought that 8 other players this year were more deserving to go to the Hall of Fame than the all-time stolen base leader and greatest leadoff hitter the game has ever seen. Oh, and did I mention that voters can include up to 10 players? That means not only did he think Rickey wasn’t better than the other 8, it means HE DIDN’T THINK HE BELONGS IN THE HALL AT ALL!


Now, he hasn’t come out and tried to justify his reasoning, but there are a few reasons that might have caused him to do something this stupid. Let’s address those, shall we?


1. He doesn’t believe Rickey was good enough to make the HoF.
This would be the dumbest argument of them all, so I’ll just get it out of the way quickly. First off, the old Cork-ster voted for Tim Raines, who was a similar player and probably should make the Hall, but couldn’t carry Rickey’s jock in a wheelbarrow. Also:

MLB All-Time Stolen Base Leader
MLB All-Time Runs Scored Leader
2nd MLB All-Time Walks
MLB Single-Season Stolen Base Record Holder (130)
1990 AL MVP
2-time World Series Champion
12-time AL base-stealing champ
10-time All-Star
Universally regarded as the best leadoff man EVER.

And that doesn’t even come close to listing all of his records. Statistician Bill James put it nicely: When asked if he thought Henderson was a Hall of Famer, he replied, “If you could split him in two, you’d have two Hall of Famers.” That should just about cover it.


2. He doesn’t believe Rickey should make the HoF on the first ballot.
This is idiotic. There are some sportswriters out there who withhold their votes in the first year that some players are eligible, even if they think a player should be in the Hall, simply because they believe that voting them in in their first year of eligibility should be saved as some sort of special honor. Bullshit. If a player belongs in the HoF, put him in, ASAP. It’s the Hall of Fame, the highest honor the game can bestow. Don’t overanalyze it, assholes.


3. He doesn’t like Rickey Henderson personally, and therefore won’t vote him into the HoF, no matter how deserving he might be.
This one may actually be the most realistic scenario. Jim Rice gets the same thing. Rickey was known to rub all kinds of people the wrong way. He could be surly and cocky back in his day. Hell, I didn’t use to like him much, either. Especially when he was playing against any team I rooted for. But over the years, as Rickey got older, you started to see more and more that some of it was an act, and some of it was just youthful brashness. Hell, in most baseball circles he’s become beloved as a steward of the game. He’s now a funny character that players, writers, and fans tell stories about. A new-age Yogi Berra. If this is the reason, get over it, already.


4. He suspects Rickey might have been on the juice.
This shit is going to come up every year for the next 20 or 25 years, until all of the guys that played when there wasn’t steroid testing are all out of the game. In short, this is retarded. They won’t ever know who used and who didn’t, and most of them were probably doing it anyway, so you just measure them against their peers. None of these writers should be self-righteous about it, because if any one of them had any balls and did their job they could have blown the whole story open years before it slowly leaked out to the public.


While I’m at it, I assume Corky didn’t vote for Mark McGwire for this very reason. Of course, McGwire doesn’t have any PED evidence against him, yet I see Corky included Matt Williams on his ballot, who was in the Mitchell Report and had steroids and HGH sent to his house. Oh, and he voted for Williams in his first year on the ballot. FANTASTIC! Way to be biased! Awesome research and reasoning skills, dickbag.


As far as the rest of his ballot goes, Blyleven, Raines, and Rice are good calls for the Hall, in my opinion. Tommy John, Dawson and Alan Trammel are borderline cases, although I would argue they shouldn’t make it, and Mattingly and Williams should only get in the Hall with a ticket. Oh, and Matt Grace shouldn’t even be allowed to buy a ticket. (Suck it, Dr. Meat.)


So basically, this waste of a vote doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about and should turn in his BBWAA membership. Hey, he’s old. Maybe they need to test these old writers and take away their cards like the DMV takes old peoples’ licenses.


So congratulations, stupid old man. You’re the EJ’s Asshole of the Week!

They have also purchased the rights to the children of Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf, and the unborn children of a group of top athletes that they have sequestered in a bunker in Montana for the purpose of breeding a group of super athletes, weeding out and disposing of the weak like the Spartans in 300.

Their estimated payroll for next year will climb to $500 bajillion, eclipsing the gross national product of all of the countries in the world, combined.



GOD, I FUCKIN’ HATE THE YANKEES!! Steinbrenners, you’re the Assholes of the Week!

Baseball’s winter meetings start in Vegas today, and with them all sorts of shit will start to go down. Billions of dollars worth of contracts will be signed. Trades will be consummated that will effect teams for years down the road. But the first order of business is the end of a career, as Greg Maddux is expected to announce his retirement. From STLtoday.com:

“The news that Maddux would retire was an above-the-fold story in Saturday’s Las Vegas Review-Journal. The righthander won four Cy Young Awards, starting with the Cubs but starring mostly with Atlanta, and he won 18 Gold Gloves, including one this past season. He’ll retire seven wins shy of passing Pud Galvin and Kid Nichols for sixth all time and 19 wins short of moving into third-place all-time by leapfrogging Pete Alexander and Christy Mathewson.”

Now, take another look at that quote for a second. When you’re in the neighborhood of Christy Mathewson (Wins) and Ozzie Smith (Gold Gloves), you’re a helluva player. And when you’re passing pitchers on MLB’s All-Time lists with names like “Pud” and “Kid” that probably pitched 500 innings a year from the time they were 15 until their arms fell off at 35, you’ve been around a while. Excellence AND longevity! Plus, look at that mustache up there! That’s Hall of Fame facial hair! There’s no question that he’s a first-ballot Hall of Famer when his time comes. It’s just fun to look back and realize that we’ve been able seen a rare talent for so long. I really hope he saved enough money to retire comfortably…

1.  He’s a white guy that sometimes wears cornrows!! Sadly, I could not find any good pictures.  This will be particularly interesting from a comedic standpoint.  Long cornrows are just close enough to a mullet to look funny and be accepted by the locals in STL, but they’ll definitely rub the old-school (read: racist) fans the wrong way.  He’ll become a fan-favorite of younger fans, and a serious whipping boy for the old fogies.

2.  He’s better than he showed last season. He was stuck on a pathetic, depressing team, in the worst hitter’s park in the league, and he was one of the only threats in the lineup.  Now he’s on a legitimate yearly contender, in a smaller ballpark, playing a relatively minor role in the success of the offense.  Sounds like a great formula for a turnaround to me.

3.  He’s in a walk year. This benefits the Cards in a few ways.  First of all, it gives him extra motivation to succeed.  If he plays well, they get first shot at re-signing him.  If he’s a bust, the Cards can let him go and wash their hands.  Flexibility is key.

4.  He’s got rare power for a shortstop. He hit a career high of 27 homers in 2007.  I don’t expect anything close to that this year, but 15-20 would be nice.  Especially considering that the Cards have gotten approximately 15 homers total out of all of their shortstops in the past 5 years or so.

5.  He’s got a good glove. It’s pretty common knowledge that he’s already a plus defender at shortstop, which is important to the Cards groundball-heavy staff.  Fielding somewhere in the neighborhood of 10,000 ground balls with infield coach Jose “The Secret Weapon” Oquendo will make him better, as will LaRussa and Duncan’s detailed defensive charts.  There is a serious chance that he could end up as a gold glove candidate.

6.  He’s relatively cheap. He’s signed for $6.5 million for next year, which looks like a hee-uge bargain when the Giants just signed the bloated husk of Edgar Renteria for 2 years and $18.5 million.  If that’s the market, Furcal can expect $15 mil a year, easy.  No thanks.

7.  He’s got a passion for the game and wants to win. The guy broke his hand punching a stationary object during a game last year.  Some may call it stupid, but I call it competitive fire…and stupid.  Hey, nobody’s perfect.

8.  He didn’t cost the Cards anything important. Reportedly, the Cards got him for two minor league relievers.  One has been confirmed as Mark Worrell (can’t imagine why), and the other is a player-to-be-named-later.  Neither would have played a role in this year’s team, and it’s doubtful they would ever have made an impact on the big club.

9.  He’s escaping the worst hitting park in MLB. Petco is where fly balls go to die.  It covers more square miles than some island nations.  Take a look at his home/road splits, and he looks like an All-Star outside of that park.

10.  Did I mention he’s been known to wear cornrows?!

Also rumored are some perks like access to a private jet, his own island, midget slaves, and a lifetime supply of Burger King. Personally, I hope he takes the Brewers’ offer of $100 million for 5 years with unlimited cheese, sausages and Miller products.