The BJ:how is Griffy treating ya?
El Chupacabra: don’t know all I know is the the Yankees are in first
The BJ:dude
The BJ:are you saying what I think you are?
The BJ:although I can’t get over the fact that you are a yankmeoff fan
El Chupacabra: I’m from NYC, I just moved to Seattle
El Chupacabra: jack off
The BJ:and?
El Chupacabra: it could be worst
The BJ:so what’s your point?
El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan
The BJ:you did not just say that
El Chupacabra: I think i did let me check

	El Chupacabra: it could be worst 

	El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan 

El Chupacabra: yep I did
The BJ:all I can say is name on one hand how many phils did steroids in the past 5-10 years
The BJ:name on two hands how many yanks did
The BJ:they are not legit
El Chupacabra: Dykstra

(more…)

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra was absolutely horrible. I mean it sucked. Nice effort, assholes.

This how awesome I had hoped Storm Shadow would be:



This is how awesome he really was:

Kate sucks.

If you think about it, she never really accomplishes anything, just screws shit up. She struts her stuff around, thinking she’s all hot shit, getting guys to fall for her, then goes and screws shit up for everyone. She can’t ever just do what she say’s she’s gonna do! She’s always wandering off and getting caught somehow, wasting everyones time and ruining their plans because they have to go save her again. Even when she’s trying to help, she somehow fucks everything up… or she can’t keep a secret… or she accidentally gives away some plan because she can’t lie worth a crap… UGH, I can’t stand her!

What a cunt.

If I ever find a genie’s lamp, these would be my three wishes:

1. I would want to wake up the next morning in a park, badly beaten with amnesia. In my pocket, a random locker key from the train station. In that locker, a small bag of $100 bills and 11 different passports.
2. I would want Kobe Bryant to be raped by Roger Clemens while Barry Bonds films it.
3. Finally, when the end of the world comes, it should involve robots with alien technology.

By the sound of this article, those robots better get their asses in gear. Maybe this is old news. But apparently, our demise WILL BE boring ol’ greenhouse gases. But not from cars or factories, no, but from cow farts. Bullshit? No, really bull shit. Get it? Cattle ass gas. I guess the asshole’s the real asshole this time? Ok, I’ll stop.

Ok I have seen some crazy shit being sold by people trying to cash in on Obama, but this one is too funny. I introduce the Chia Obama, yes you heard right! This Chia comes in two versions “Happy” and “Determined”. The animation is hilarious, you can see how Obama would look like with a Fro and corn roles.

Did no one have the imagination to make a Chia Bush or better yet a Chia Lewinsky cigar dispenser the name alone makes me want to buy one.

I hate when actor’s think that just because people recognize their faces, that they are important, especially those fuckheads that use their grammy acceptance speaches to make a politcal statement…
Anyway the next asshole to step up and do some stupid shit is Kumar (Kal Penn).

So, Kumar just left his role on the show “House” to go work for The White House administration. He’s accepting a position where he “will focus on doing outreach activities to help connect the general public and the White House.”

Seriously? Can anyone take his ass seriously?

So he’s been in other shit, like Namesake, House, whatever, etc… but I don’t think anyone will ever see him as anything other than Kumar. Even on House I couldn’t see past it. He’ll always be the White Castle eating, bong hitting, Kumar. Perhaps everyonce in a while I’ll see him as Taj from Van Wilder… but I don’t think anyone will ever be able to take him serious. Honestly, I don’t think anyone wants to take him seroiusly.

What a Douche!

Full Story: http://www.etonline.com/news/2009/04/72586/

So, Oprah is so damn hangry she could eat Tyler Perry. And I’d bet my pimp hand that The View has lost their minds discussing all the different ways Chris Brown should die. But what’s more entertaining are the views of America’s teens: (more…)

I’m actually a big fan of Vivid Entertainment, but somethings people just dont want to see.
Vivid’s offering the Octomom $1Million to be in a porn.
http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/25/octomom-nadya-suleman-porn/

Can you just imagine how nasty and worn out her hole is? ew.

Dear Mcdonalds,
When the fuck are you bringing back the McRib?!?!?!?!
And why do you have to be such douchebags and only keep it around for a “limited time”?

ASSHOLES!

Sincerly,
SlappyMcNutsack

Sidenote #1 – Check out this McRib Locator:
http://kleincast.com/maps/mcrib.php

Sidenote #2 – People that pronounce McDonalds “Mac”Donalds are ghey.

Last week on Tuesday, IBM rallied the stock market by announcing record earnings. The CEO sent every employee an email thanking them for their hard work and bragging about how it was the first time in history they exceeded $100billion in revenue.

That was Tuesday. Wednesday morning the phone calls went out and they made 16,000 layoffs.

Then today, not even one full week later, they put out statements talking about how they are pretty much recession-proof!

WTF IBM! For that, you are our ASSHOLE of the Week!

Other Layoffs that were annouced today:
5000 at Microsoft
8000 at Sprint
7000 at Home Depot
2000 at GM
6000 at United Airlines
8000 at Pfizer