From: http://www.xkcd.com

I was at Wendy’s and got a Medium value meal, when I stumbled on to this cup.

WTF

Can you spot the power top? Holy crap how the hell did they miss this?

The BJ:how is Griffy treating ya?
El Chupacabra: don’t know all I know is the the Yankees are in first
The BJ:dude
The BJ:are you saying what I think you are?
The BJ:although I can’t get over the fact that you are a yankmeoff fan
El Chupacabra: I’m from NYC, I just moved to Seattle
El Chupacabra: jack off
The BJ:and?
El Chupacabra: it could be worst
The BJ:so what’s your point?
El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan
The BJ:you did not just say that
El Chupacabra: I think i did let me check

	El Chupacabra: it could be worst 

	El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan 

El Chupacabra: yep I did
The BJ:all I can say is name on one hand how many phils did steroids in the past 5-10 years
The BJ:name on two hands how many yanks did
The BJ:they are not legit
El Chupacabra: Dykstra

(more…)

We all know the feeling. Sometimes a man can only be pushed so far before he spits in the face of “the man”. So what else can a man be expected to do when he’s been backed into a corner? When his license has already been taken away for DUI and his thirst for cheap beer has not been quenched? Something deeply, profoundly stupid…

Via STLtoday:

BELLEVILLE, IL— With a revoked license because of a previous drunken-driving conviction, Dennis Cretton shouldn’t drive.

But authorities say that didn’t stop the 49-year-old Belleville-area man from drunkenly driving up to a gas station for more beer –on his yellow riding lawnmower.

Cretton has been charged with felony aggravated driving under the influence after neighbors reported he was weaving in and out of traffic on his lawnmower Friday night.

When deputies tried to stop him, authorities say Bretton drove the mower into his home’s front yard, his 12-pack of Milwaukee’s Best spilling onto the ground along the way.

Cretton is free on $10,000 bond. Calls to his home went unanswered Tuesday.

I hear multiple times per day from the Nutsack, “Put up a post you muthaofadouchebag” or “You’re the shittiest blogger of the face of the planet”, etc, etc.
He’s right, and I don’t really have a decent believable excuse for my lack of awesomeness besides that I’ve been working hundreds of hours a week saving the planet from destitute white-trash assholes that walk the Earth with an ultimate feeling of entitlement because this is America and they had a job once or because their grandfather was in ‘Nam or because their gay uncle molested them. Nevermind the fact that they smack their kids, ate a meth sandwich for lunch, or spent their welfare check on lottery tickets, it’s a hard-knock life out there hova. So when life gives you lemons, you gotta just learn to make poop toys.

Sorry for the lack of content. I’ve been pretty busy impersonating Tony LaRussa on Twitter?

from espn.com

ST. LOUIS — St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa is suing the social-networking site Twitter, claiming an unauthorized page that used his name to make light of drunken driving and two Cardinals pitchers who died damaged his reputation and caused emotional distress.
The suit filed last month in the Superior Court of California in San Francisco seeks unspecified damages.
La Russa had little to say about the suit.
“I’m not discussing it except to say that our foundation attorney is taking care of it,” the manager told The Associated Press.
Messages left Thursday with La Russa’s attorney and San Francisco-based Twitter were not returned.
The lawsuit claims that someone created a false account under La Russa’s name and posted updates, known as “tweets,” that gave the false impression that the comments came from La Russa. The suit said the comments were “derogatory and demeaning” and damaged La Russa’s trademark rights.
The account bearing La Russa’s name is no longer active. The lawsuit includes a screen shot of three tweets. One posted on April 19 said: “Lost 2 out of 3, but we made it out of Chicago without one drunk driving incident or dead pitcher.”

Wow, it’s been a while since my last post. I promise to do a better job of keeping this site up to date with more content… (wish my other writers would too… hint hint pricks!)

Anyway, on a recent trip to the store at 3am, I saw a bunch of cops driving by in pursuit of something, and it reminded me of the movie Raising Arizona, with one of the greatest chase scenes of all time… check it:

Lycurgus: there should be a Jerking Off olympics
SlappyMcNutsack: that would mean several events
SlappyMcNutsack: what kinda JO events would exist?
SlappyMcNutsack: Distance?
SlappyMcNutsack: quantitiy?
Lycurgus: driving a manual while jerking
Lycurgus: yeah
Lycurgus: distance and quantity
Lycurgus: aim
Lycurgus: what’s that winter game where they ski to a target
Lycurgus: shoot the target
Lycurgus: then ski to the next one…
SlappyMcNutsack: bi-athalon
Lycurgus: yeah
Lycurgus: that
Lycurgus: although, we’d have to change the name
SlappyMcNutsack: back to your “driving a manual while jerking”
Lycurgus: yeah
SlappyMcNutsack: how would you judge that
Lycurgus: there’s got to be an obstacle course with cones
SlappyMcNutsack: but, does driver have to complete?
Lycurgus: and you have to complete by the time you cross the finish line
Lycurgus: yeah
SlappyMcNutsack: and how do u know he wont complete at start then finish the race
Lycurgus: driver has to complete
Lycurgus: have to start both at the same time
Lycurgus: or
Lycurgus: actually that’d be fine
Lycurgus: but might be a bad strategy
Lycurgus: if the other dude starts both at the same time
SlappyMcNutsack: hmm, requires more thought…. and some trial runs
Lycurgus: indeed
SlappyMcNutsack: maybe a HanJ olympics
Lycurgus: nice
SlappyMcNutsack: or that can be in the masturbation olympics as a group event
SlappyMcNutsack: team sport
Lycurgus: you could have duo’s
Lycurgus: team… not sure how that would work
SlappyMcNutsack: maybe like a relay
SlappyMcNutsack: like have a bunch of people on a Jerking team
SlappyMcNutsack: but you cant start till your team mate finishes
SlappyMcNutsack: then get a team time
Lycurgus: this is why i need to establish my financial independence
Lycurgus: so i can focus on more pressing matters like this
SlappyMcNutsack: agreed

Ok I have seen some crazy shit being sold by people trying to cash in on Obama, but this one is too funny. I introduce the Chia Obama, yes you heard right! This Chia comes in two versions “Happy” and “Determined”. The animation is hilarious, you can see how Obama would look like with a Fro and corn roles.

Did no one have the imagination to make a Chia Bush or better yet a Chia Lewinsky cigar dispenser the name alone makes me want to buy one.

I never really got the whole Kindle craze, but I now see the light.  I wonder if they have a neck strap for easy access?