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I was at Wendy’s and got a Medium value meal, when I stumbled on to this cup.
WTF
Can you spot the power top? Holy crap how the hell did they miss this?
* BLOCKBUSTER sucks edition…no, Hollywood sucks edition.
Along with my solution to solve the world of procreating idiots, (see number 5) I have another theory that would solve or at least put a nice dent in world poverty and hunger. Hollywood needs some motherfuckin’ accountability. There needs to be some type of council, elected commission, or government appointed panel that decides whether or not a movie should be allowed to be made. I understand freedom of expression, freedom of speech, and free will, all that shit, but come on?! There only needs to be one rule, one deal breaker…does this movie make you more stupid?
I’m picturing an acronym. I dunno…something like CADA (Citizens Against Dumb America)?
Now, if a movie gets to a certain point in production, CADA has the authority to stop it in its tracks and take all the money devoted to this waste of time and give it to those kids in Slumdog Millionaire or something? I mean we’re talking bags of money here, right? The money from White Chicks, Deuce Bigalow, and Scary Movie 8 alone would feed everyone in Darfur until their bellies exploded from something other than ascites.
I don’t know…call me a dreamer, but after a recent visit to the video store, I found a few candidates that should have been blown up from the start:
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Back in October, we showed you a sneak preview of the much anticipated Spider-Man: 4.
Well, thanks to our field team of reporters here at eviljalapeno.com, we’re able to bring you even more footage. As this isn’t in english, I’m not sure what exactly they are saying, but i’m sure it’s somthing about how ghey Tobey Maguire is….Just jump to the 43 second mark.
Submitted by ElChupacabra
I am probably one of a hand full of Americans that likes to watch soccer, yes I said it I’m a Closet Soccer Fan. But I have quickly learned there is nothing hippies can’t ruin for me. It’s bad enough that these cocksuckers think they are African with their Djembes drums (google that shit) or Rastafarians with their dreads. Now they have to go and ruin soccer for me, YOU’VE GOT TO BE FISTING ME!!!! God, I wish I had Cartman’s hippie drill (Ep 902).
1. Seriously, don’t watch this.
2. Jesus, this looks horrible. Hey, Samuel L. Jackson, we get it, you’re a fan boy. That doesn’t mean you have to be in every fucking movie in the genre. And Nick Fury’s white. Douche.
3. I’ve had it up to here (pointing to my asshole) with this motherfucker. Hey, Kevin, remember when you played in Minnesota and you and your team sucked serious cock? Congratulations on getting traded to a championship team. Way to go on being a humble, grateful team player. You handle yourself with the dignity and grace of a true champion. Your family must be proud that your not a total asshole and that all of this success hasn’t gone to your giant head. You fucking prick.
4. I fucking hate little dogs.
5. Call of Duty 5. This motherfucking game is the bane of my existence. The first 20 seconds of this video pretty much sums it up for me. Besides the fact that some punk-ass bitch is blowing my arms and legs off before I can even get my cross-hairs on them, they’re talking shit to me in Arabic or Chinese. Not to mention she’s probably 10 years old.
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A bunch of sources are reporting that The Roots will be the new house band for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I’m awestruck by this, but I guess somebody has to pick up the slack for that ass clown. I hate Fallon with every fiber of my being for prancing around on the field in Busch Stadium after the Red Sox beat the Cardinals in the 2004 World Series. The fact that it was just for a movie pisses me off even more. That movie was an abortion. Even Sox fans hate it, and they eat up anything that feeds their enormous egos. (more…)
If you watch these two videos less than seven times each and don’t piss yourself at least four times, you, my friend, are not eviljalapeno material. Holy Shit! I love America, although rumor has it those oompa-loompa lookin’ sonsabitches are from Canada? The other guy? He’s fuckin’ serious. www.chrisdaneowens.com
HOT OFF THE PRESS!!! Tobey Maguire footage straight from the set of Spider-Man 4…
Looks like Spider-Man 4 is gonna be just like the rest of them… ghey!
A-Rod, Kobe, Tony Hawk, Michael Phelps… Not only do you get the AOTW award, but you all looked ghey earning it!
NOT WORTHY OF EMBEDING: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCyfKWu4YQ0
In my opinion, there’s only ever been one good Risky Business spoof: