This video pretty much sums it up, but I’ll gladly take a few moments of my employer’s time to give you wankers a few more:
(more…)

I’ve been known to occasionally visit websites that don’t involve cylons, superheroes, and fantasy baseball. Sometimes I even peruse websites that are supposed to report factual, important, world issues. Let’s say most of the time I like to think I have my finger on the pulse of planet Earth. I hear there are some important people in London this week. So, I figured I’d go to cnn.com to sort it all out.
Wrong. Check below the headlines this morning.
Folks, the end is nigh.

CNN.COM HEADLINES 8am EDT 04/02/2009
Latest News
N. Korea warns Japan not to shoot down rocket
Rollins: Obama finds the world blames U.S.
iReport.com: Is Obama risking overexposure?
Ticker: Obama makes iPod mix for the Queen
CNNMoney: Check the future of home prices
Nebraska family missing nearly two weeks
Neighbor, 59, admits kissing missing girl, 8
Indictment: Group held, tortured teen for year
Roland Martin: High cigarette tax? Great!
Mom urges kids to chug vodka, cops say
Man’s legs severed to fit in coffin?
Dad delivers baby using Internet how-to
Plug pulled on soap opera after 72 years
Pets, owners challenged by increasing allergies
KKTV: Man coughs up 30-year-old-nail
Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is shrinking 5 min
‘American Idol’ blog: Are you as happy as I am?
Valerie Bertinelli hanging on to fat clothes
CNN Wire: 20 militants killed in southern…

You can’t make this shit up. However, I did finally find what I was looking for regarding the crazy protesters and world leader ass-grabbing. And thankfully, evidenced by the picture below, nobody has anything to worry about. IT’S ALL GOOD.

Ok, you piece of trash. You are worse than a rapist. No, you are a rapist. You unoriginal, cheating, couldn’t pull a piece of ass unless your finger poked through the toilet paper, son of a bitch. Show yourself. Finish your dick sandwich, then stick your head out of that window so I can cook a grenade in your ugly face. I’ll then empty a clip down your headless throat.

Call of Duty glitches straight suck.

These cheats that allow online players to sneak under the actual gameplay map unseen from the real players and pick us off unknowingly are total bullshit.

Way to ruin it for everybody, you immoral spawns of hate and pus. We hope your mothers all contract rectal cancer and their last painful, dying words are that they wished your fathers would’ve pulled out and blown you on their face. Because you turned out to be a worthless waste of money and effort. And they’re glad they at least got to spend the majority of your childhood drunk.

Dammit. I need to go punch someone.

Dear Santa,
I’m easy this year. I already got my CGC 9.8 New Mutants #98. I just had a doctor’s appointment and my cholesterol is finally down below Defcon 4. And the Yankees sealed their fate for the next 10 years by continuing to severely overpay for fat, bum-elbowed meat chuckers. So, I really don’t need anything I don’t already have, except for maybe a rub down from Megan Fox? But I’ll throw together a list for you and your elves anyway. Enjoy the double-stuffed oreos and cow juice, as usual, my good friend.

1. Damn-near life size replica of the Aluminum Falcon.

2. Speaking of cholesterol, we’ve all heard of Bacon Salt, but there’s a new sheriff in town, Baconnaise. Hot Damn!

3. Usually I’m not a fan of video games based on movies. But I’ll make an exception with this one.

4. The zombie invasion is coming. We need to be prepared.

5. I’d read this beauty for the articles.

Thanks Santa.   Hugs,
Dr. Meat

4. “WOLVERINES!!!!!”

Still looking for one that will fit my .45. Click here.

If only every woman had these skills!

Next step, changing the oil on an 82 corvette!

That reminds me. I gotta go buy my snow pass! Bring on winter!

EvilJeenyus: if I’m faking my death, I’m faking a gory shooutout while holding an M16 in a Tony Montana-like shoot-out
SlappyMcNutsack: M4 works better
SlappyMcNutsack: newer version of the M16
SlappyMcNutsack: we can use animatronics
SlappyMcNutsack: so it catches you dying on video
EvilJeenyus: if an m16 was good enough for Tony, it’s good enough for me
EvilJeenyus: with grenade launcher, of course
SlappyMcNutsack: yeah, sure
SlappyMcNutsack: if thats your thing, i mean
SlappyMcNutsack: why just replicate tony
SlappyMcNutsack: when you can 1up him
EvilJeenyus: well, 1 up’ing him would be like using a SAW
SlappyMcNutsack: actually, a saw is deadlier
SlappyMcNutsack: so to make your self cooler than him
SlappyMcNutsack: you have do do more damage with less of a weapon
EvilJeenyus: yeah, tony might have gotten out of there alive if he had a saw
SlappyMcNutsack: yup
EvilJeenyus: ok, i’ve changed my mind
EvilJeenyus: to fake my death, i will re-create the last 20 minutes of Rambo 4
SlappyMcNutsack: fuck dude, we get paid for this
SlappyMcNutsack: we get paid to sit around and bullshit all day
EvilJeenyus: yup