“Who Dat!”

OK, you won the Superbowl… its over.
Move on with your lives.

Where’s Katrina when I need her!

This video pretty much sums it up, but I’ll gladly take a few moments of my employer’s time to give you wankers a few more:
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this will be the last Kurt Warner video on this website. I hope.





1. Kurt Warner loves Jesus.
2. Apparently, Kurt only has one shirt. Click here.
3. Ellen is a man. And I’m pretty sure Jesus looks down on that.


*Only watch the first :40 or so, then push yourself off a bridge with no water underneath.

1. Pink Panther 2.I was going to say Paul Blart: Mall Cop, here, but apparently Kevin James is adorable and people actually saw this movie. So, we’ll go with Steve Martin. This guy has fallen farther than Cuba Gooding, Jr.
I watched him host something like his 20th episode of SNL last week and laughed, never. Then he had the seeds to break out his banjo and play a fuckin’ song from his new bluegrass children’s album. Yeah.
Well, the Pink Panther movie (and fucking sequels) is the last straw. I don’t care if you were funny in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. You are officially a Wayans brother. Die.

2. The Economy. Apparently it sucks. I wouldn’t know because I’m rich.

3. NFL officials.There really isn’t anything to go into here. For the most part, NBA referees are the lowest of the low regarding inconsistency and injecting their poison into the outcome of a game. But some of the calls in that Super Bowl were, well, you watched it. Unbelievable.

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"Kurt, grip it and lip it, you pussy!"

Hall of Famer Kurt Warner’s in. Larry Fitzgerald sounds more like a middle school math teacher, than the greatest receiver in the history of history. And the Cardinals’ defense kept it rollin’.
Baltimore had a rookie QB. And it finally mattered against the greatest defense in the history of history. Nineteen turnovers in the final six minutes isn’t gonna get you to the Big Game. And Pittsburgh has a Pro Bowler at every position on defense.
So, get ready for the same four awesome Sportcenter headlines crammed down your throat for two weeks:
1. Kurt Warner loves his wife. Who, shockingly, doesn’t look as much like a troll-goblin-lesiban-softball coach as she did last time Kurt was in a Super Bowl. Mostly because she has more hair.
2. Anquan Boldin just wants to win Super Bowls.
3. Mike Tomlin is black tough.
4. Is Brett Farve coming back?
Now the early spread I jumped on was Arizona +7. This is because everyone thinks Pittsburgh’s defense is gonna make Arizona one-dimensional. Warner gets forced into throwing the ball deep every play. Steelers force turnovers and it’s a rout, kinda like what they always do. So, what you think should happen won’t. This game will be close. And if…if Arizona gets a lead, which they could easily do and make Pittsburgh chuck it. Forget it. Bet the beet farm.

Ok Jags, it’s not too hard this week. I’ve been rollin’ with the underdogs through the playoffs and I’m up. So, listen.

1. Arizona sucks. But if that defense shows up again like it did against Delhomme, well, the Eagles get smoked. Kurt Warner obviously has sold his soul to Satan. And he wears awesome striped shirts.
So, AZ at home and an underdog? Come on now. Easy.

2. Have you ever heard of Ed Reed? Yeah, that guy might be the greatest football player in the history of history. But I like the Steelers. And I like Tomlin. What I don’t like is how much Ben Rotlessburger enjoys being on his back. Dude likes being sacked more than Kurt Warner, which is saying something. And there’s this guy, Ray “The Last Boy Scout” Lewis who likes to kill people. The Ravens on the road, underdogs, rookie QB? Go with it.
Oh, and the over/under is something like 4. Probably stay away from that.

Yeah, so no Horrible Weekly Betting Advice this week. Seriously, you know the NFL and Vegas know how fucking crazy shit is when the lines are as perfectly stupid as they are this weekend.
Four home underdogs!? Yeah, right. I’m staying away.
Mostly.
The team I think least deserves to be in the playoffs, the Arizona Cardinals, should get destroyed.
I’m betting them to win.
So far, the college bowls games have been kind. The freakin’ PAC 10 is 5-0, 3-0 for me, so if Oklahoma can get it done against Touchdown Tebow, I’m taking some lucky lady out to a nice seafood dinner. Or Sizzler.

EvilJeenyus
We’re coming down the back stretch of the season, and your’s truly is still hovering around the .500 mark on my picks. I’ve missed all manner of 3, 4, 5, and even a 6 pick parlay. Many of them only by one game, and some in agonizingly cruel fashion. Only my straight bets have kept me afloat. So, by my sick gambling logic, that just means I’m due. From here, I’ll either make a fortune or go down in a blaze of glory and descend into madness. Come on the journey with me… (more…)

Someone got their ass beat in the locker room later that night (no, BJ, not the type of ass beating you like to get):

Epic Football Failure – Watch more Sports Videos

Tim Tebow, half man, half horse, all soldier of God.  I’d heard he’s a big ol’ Jesus freak what with his parents flying in from somewhere spelled with all consonants to take a break from their missionary work to watch him put a bible thumpin’ on the Tide last night.  All I know is if this Kurt Warner love child doesn’t vote for himself for this year’s Heisman, God will never forgive him.  Nor will I.  Good game, kid.  Lookin’ forward to the next one.  Should be a good one, amen.