The BJ:how is Griffy treating ya?
El Chupacabra: don’t know all I know is the the Yankees are in first
The BJ:dude
The BJ:are you saying what I think you are?
The BJ:although I can’t get over the fact that you are a yankmeoff fan
El Chupacabra: I’m from NYC, I just moved to Seattle
El Chupacabra: jack off
The BJ:and?
El Chupacabra: it could be worst
The BJ:so what’s your point?
El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan
The BJ:you did not just say that
El Chupacabra: I think i did let me check

	El Chupacabra: it could be worst 

	El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan 

El Chupacabra: yep I did
The BJ:all I can say is name on one hand how many phils did steroids in the past 5-10 years
The BJ:name on two hands how many yanks did
The BJ:they are not legit
El Chupacabra: Dykstra

(more…)

EvilJeenyus: you watch lost?
SlappyMcNutsack: yeah
SlappyMcNutsack: u watch last night
EvilJeenyus: yep
EvilJeenyus: awesome
EvilJeenyus: the intro was great
EvilJeenyus: setting up a big battle between good and evil
SlappyMcNutsack: yeah, but
SlappyMcNutsack: good v evil is so lame… its overdone
SlappyMcNutsack: it should be like science vs religion
SlappyMcNutsack: or what if the magnetic field reacted to the nuke, and then the Lifetime Network bought the rights to LOST and the final season was Pro Choice vs Pro Life
SlappyMcNutsack: or my favorite battle of all times
SlappyMcNutsack: Donuts vs Bagels
EvilJeenyus: please….
EvilJeenyus: donuts
EvilJeenyus: not a contest
EvilJeenyus: they’re FRIED
SlappyMcNutsack: yeah, i love donuts
SlappyMcNutsack: but
(more…)

Lycurgus: there should be a Jerking Off olympics
SlappyMcNutsack: that would mean several events
SlappyMcNutsack: what kinda JO events would exist?
SlappyMcNutsack: Distance?
SlappyMcNutsack: quantitiy?
Lycurgus: driving a manual while jerking
Lycurgus: yeah
Lycurgus: distance and quantity
Lycurgus: aim
Lycurgus: what’s that winter game where they ski to a target
Lycurgus: shoot the target
Lycurgus: then ski to the next one…
SlappyMcNutsack: bi-athalon
Lycurgus: yeah
Lycurgus: that
Lycurgus: although, we’d have to change the name
SlappyMcNutsack: back to your “driving a manual while jerking”
Lycurgus: yeah
SlappyMcNutsack: how would you judge that
Lycurgus: there’s got to be an obstacle course with cones
SlappyMcNutsack: but, does driver have to complete?
Lycurgus: and you have to complete by the time you cross the finish line
Lycurgus: yeah
SlappyMcNutsack: and how do u know he wont complete at start then finish the race
Lycurgus: driver has to complete
Lycurgus: have to start both at the same time
Lycurgus: or
Lycurgus: actually that’d be fine
Lycurgus: but might be a bad strategy
Lycurgus: if the other dude starts both at the same time
SlappyMcNutsack: hmm, requires more thought…. and some trial runs
Lycurgus: indeed
SlappyMcNutsack: maybe a HanJ olympics
Lycurgus: nice
SlappyMcNutsack: or that can be in the masturbation olympics as a group event
SlappyMcNutsack: team sport
Lycurgus: you could have duo’s
Lycurgus: team… not sure how that would work
SlappyMcNutsack: maybe like a relay
SlappyMcNutsack: like have a bunch of people on a Jerking team
SlappyMcNutsack: but you cant start till your team mate finishes
SlappyMcNutsack: then get a team time
Lycurgus: this is why i need to establish my financial independence
Lycurgus: so i can focus on more pressing matters like this
SlappyMcNutsack: agreed

TheBJ: your turkey pic makes me never want to eat turkey again
SlappyMcNutsack: i know
SlappyMcNutsack: looks like someone raped it
TheBJ: lol
TheBJ: yeah that’s one way to put it
TheBJ: like the olivia munn pic
SlappyMcNutsack: yes, olivia is a goddess
TheBJ: i would toss her salad
TheBJ: if she ate corn for dinner I would consider eating it after
TheBJ: she’s so hot
SlappyMcNutsack: would u let her strap one on and take you?
TheBJ: there is a line
SlappyMcNutsack: what if she said, you could do ANYTHING you want afterwards.
TheBJ: man that’s a tough one
TheBJ: depends how much I had to drink to make that decision
TheBJ: u?
SlappyMcNutsack: so, say you had 2 beers
TheBJ: naa
SlappyMcNutsack: 6 ?
TheBJ: > 6 gets more thinking
SlappyMcNutsack: but you’d consider eating the corn out of her shit
TheBJ: if she was naked in front of me that would be hard to resist
TheBJ: yes of course
TheBJ: rather eat her corn than take it in the rear
SlappyMcNutsack: but, eating corn from her shit doesnt entitle you to have sex with her aftewards
SlappyMcNutsack: you just thru that out there
TheBJ: I know
TheBJ: eating her corn means I think she’s hot
TheBJ: like Rachel Hunter
TheBJ: don’t know why but I love her
SlappyMcNutsack: you’d eat rachel hunters corn shit?
TheBJ: yep
TheBJ: the corn in the shit
TheBJ: not the corn shit
SlappyMcNutsack: right
SlappyMcNutsack: so, same scenario, rachel hunter…. anything, anyhole, anytime you want it… but she’s gets to strap it on and take you once first.
TheBJ: tough call dude, there isn’t much I would NOT do but the thought of anything entering my asshole just isn’t cool
TheBJ: what would you do?
SlappyMcNutsack: ok dude… see, i think you would
SlappyMcNutsack: i think you’re just fronting now
TheBJ: you won’t answer
TheBJ: obviously you will
TheBJ: homo
SlappyMcNutsack: what would i do?
TheBJ: yes I asked you three times now
TheBJ: you won’t respond
SlappyMcNutsack: i’m not in this scenario… you are
TheBJ: pu$$y
TheBJ: afraid to answer
SlappyMcNutsack: Fuck no I wouldnt do it
SlappyMcNutsack: but, i know you would
TheBJ: b/c you fantasize about it you ph@g
SlappyMcNutsack: nah dude, i just know how ghey you are
TheBJ: not the one who thought of it in the first place homo
SlappyMcNutsack: but you came up with eating corn from the shit
SlappyMcNutsack: thats pretty sick dude
SlappyMcNutsack: i mean, seriously
TheBJ: think I care?
SlappyMcNutsack: so you like shit?
SlappyMcNutsack: do you only eat corn from shit
SlappyMcNutsack: or do you enjoy peanuts too
SlappyMcNutsack: perhaps a lima bean?
TheBJ: I would eat shrimp
TheBJ: peanuts
TheBJ: beans
TheBJ: scallops
SlappyMcNutsack: sesame seads?
TheBJ: clam
TheBJ: I don’t eat sesame seads on a bagel
TheBJ: so no
SlappyMcNutsack: glad to see you draw the line somewhere
TheBJ: I DO have my limits
SlappyMcNutsack: you’ll tounge fuck a log of turd… but fuck no, you wont touch a sesame seed

EvilJeenyus: ever tried those batter blasters?
SlappyMcNutsack: batter blasters?
SlappyMcNutsack: sounds like my dick
EvilJeenyus: pancake mix in a whipped-cream can
EvilJeenyus: it’s actually pretty ingenious

EvilJeenyus: like love in a can
SlappyMcNutsack: WHAT!? no way, i make pancakes every sunday, been trying to perfect my pouring technique
SlappyMcNutsack: i make peanut butter m&m pancakes… fkn awesome
EvilJeenyus: go to whole foods and pick up a can of batter blasters
SlappyMcNutsack: they taste good too?
EvilJeenyus: yep
SlappyMcNutsack: is it like pre-made mix, or can you put your own in
EvilJeenyus: pre-made mix, but you can throw whatever you want into it once you spray it in the pan
SlappyMcNutsack: if you are good like me, you can even make them on a foreman grill
EvilJeenyus: i make blueberry pancakes that are bomb-tastic
EvilJeenyus: i’ve got a griddle for my stove
SlappyMcNutsack: i have a griddle for my grill
SlappyMcNutsack: bbq pancakes
EvilJeenyus: grills are for meat
EvilJeenyus: and occasionally vegetables, if on a skewer with meat
SlappyMcNutsack: yes, but when you are making steak & eggs
SlappyMcNutsack: you can do it all at the grill
EvilJeenyus: actually, that’s a valid scenario
EvilJeenyus: i’ll allow it
SlappyMcNutsack: :)
SlappyMcNutsack: i noticed you went quiet for a second… you couldnt find a flaw in my statement
SlappyMcNutsack: then allowed it
SlappyMcNutsack: LOL
EvilJeenyus: well, i had to consider whether eggs are meat or not
SlappyMcNutsack: haha

SlappyMcNutsack: so, draw me a new logo dammit
SlappyMcNutsack: make yourself useful
SlappyMcNutsack: (cus you obviously aren’t contributing in any other manor)
SlappyMcNutsack: ((I’m trying to guilt you))
EvilJeenyus: oh, i get it
EvilJeenyus: i just don’t care
SlappyMcNutsack: a trick i learned while being married
EvilJeenyus: i grew up catholic, man
EvilJeenyus: guilt is our currency
SlappyMcNutsack: oh i’m sorry
SlappyMcNutsack: how old were you when it happened
SlappyMcNutsack: and is he in jail now?
EvilJeenyus: no way, our priest was too old and feeble to molest anyone
EvilJeenyus: any of the altar boys could have kicked his ass
SlappyMcNutsack: kinda like the old guy on family guy
SlappyMcNutsack: always trying to molest chris
EvilJeenyus: exactly
EvilJeenyus: hey there paperboy…
EvilJeenyus: you sure do have some muscle-y arms
SlappyMcNutsack: so he was old and frail, thats why he became a priest
SlappyMcNutsack: he knew people would kick his ass
SlappyMcNutsack: so he used his authority
SlappyMcNutsack: got boys to trust in him
SlappyMcNutsack: and threatened them that god would punish them for telling
SlappyMcNutsack: and god would never forgive them
SlappyMcNutsack: he told them it was ok for 2 men to share a sleeping bag on a camping trip… and told the boys that body heat woudl help keep them warm.
EvilJeenyus: is this autobiographical?
SlappyMcNutsack: no, you’re the catholic
EvilJeenyus: well, you have a vivid imagination when it comes to man-boy love
SlappyMcNutsack: nah, my people are different
SlappyMcNutsack: you ever watch to catch a predator
SlappyMcNutsack: my people go after girls… though young… still female

SlappyMcNutsack: hold please, about to go take my 4th shit of the day
EvilJeenyus: 4th? wtf are you eating? prune-filled oat bran muffins covered in ex-lax?
SlappyMcNutsack: i’m back
SlappyMcNutsack: naw dude, i’ve been taking metamucil every morning
SlappyMcNutsack: that shit is amazing
SlappyMcNutsack: its not a laxative per say
SlappyMcNutsack: but when you do shit
SlappyMcNutsack: you shit a lot
SlappyMcNutsack: and they are great shits too
SlappyMcNutsack: big
SlappyMcNutsack: and easy clean up!
SlappyMcNutsack: you should try it
SlappyMcNutsack: i think i turned Dr. Meat into a believer
SlappyMcNutsack: but i got Mrs. Slappy, and a few others on it
EvilJeenyus: what’s the point?
EvilJeenyus: more satisfying dumps?
SlappyMcNutsack: to make every dump an AMAZING dump
SlappyMcNutsack: with easy clean up
SlappyMcNutsack: plus, my travel schedule is wack, dont eat right while on the road, dont get enough fruits, etc. in my diet
SlappyMcNutsack: this is the fiber i need
SlappyMcNutsack: but its so satisfying, people that dont need it, take it
SlappyMcNutsack: your first metamucil shit will be almost religous
SlappyMcNutsack: oh yeah, not the metamucil wafers, not the pills, its got to be the orange powder
EvilJeenyus: i don’t have problems, so i think it would just cause me to shit my pants
SlappyMcNutsack: no, it wont
SlappyMcNutsack: just try it
SlappyMcNutsack: one of Mrs. Slappy’s friends cried and hugged me after her first metamucil shit, saying that she’s been waiting for that her whole life. and she claims she’ll name a kid after me
EvilJeenyus: cripes
SlappyMcNutsack: yea, just try it for 2 days
SlappyMcNutsack: then if you dont like it, i’ll give you your money back
EvilJeenyus: i don’t need to know about my friends bm’s
EvilJeenyus: ha
EvilJeenyus: you should be a salesman for them
SlappyMcNutsack: how do you know i’m not
SlappyMcNutsack: dude, i feel like i can breathe better after metamucil shits
SlappyMcNutsack: its like there’s this big void in my stomach now
SlappyMcNutsack: i feel like i can go for a run
EvilJeenyus: is this actually Slappy, or is this some new internet marketing technique?
SlappyMcNutsack: its like skipping thru the fields on the austrian hillside…
EvilJeenyus: V1AGRA!!! CHEAP!!!
SlappyMcNutsack: LOL
SlappyMcNutsack: i have issues…

EvilJeenyus: if I’m faking my death, I’m faking a gory shooutout while holding an M16 in a Tony Montana-like shoot-out
SlappyMcNutsack: M4 works better
SlappyMcNutsack: newer version of the M16
SlappyMcNutsack: we can use animatronics
SlappyMcNutsack: so it catches you dying on video
EvilJeenyus: if an m16 was good enough for Tony, it’s good enough for me
EvilJeenyus: with grenade launcher, of course
SlappyMcNutsack: yeah, sure
SlappyMcNutsack: if thats your thing, i mean
SlappyMcNutsack: why just replicate tony
SlappyMcNutsack: when you can 1up him
EvilJeenyus: well, 1 up’ing him would be like using a SAW
SlappyMcNutsack: actually, a saw is deadlier
SlappyMcNutsack: so to make your self cooler than him
SlappyMcNutsack: you have do do more damage with less of a weapon
EvilJeenyus: yeah, tony might have gotten out of there alive if he had a saw
SlappyMcNutsack: yup
EvilJeenyus: ok, i’ve changed my mind
EvilJeenyus: to fake my death, i will re-create the last 20 minutes of Rambo 4
SlappyMcNutsack: fuck dude, we get paid for this
SlappyMcNutsack: we get paid to sit around and bullshit all day
EvilJeenyus: yup