Well, the McRib’s back, not the lazy writers of eviljalapeno!

I know what I’m eating tonight (and every night the rest of the week)!

The BJ:how is Griffy treating ya?
El Chupacabra: don’t know all I know is the the Yankees are in first
The BJ:dude
The BJ:are you saying what I think you are?
The BJ:although I can’t get over the fact that you are a yankmeoff fan
El Chupacabra: I’m from NYC, I just moved to Seattle
El Chupacabra: jack off
The BJ:and?
El Chupacabra: it could be worst
The BJ:so what’s your point?
El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan
The BJ:you did not just say that
El Chupacabra: I think i did let me check

	El Chupacabra: it could be worst 

	El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan 

El Chupacabra: yep I did
The BJ:all I can say is name on one hand how many phils did steroids in the past 5-10 years
The BJ:name on two hands how many yanks did
The BJ:they are not legit
El Chupacabra: Dykstra

(more…)

Swine flu? Really? Come on, Mother Nature. Your attempts to thin out stupid people have been pretty weak lately. You’re not even gonna make a dent using something that can be prevented by soap and water? You haven’t done anything worth a shit since Katrina Deep Impact. I have some ideas. However, I’d have trouble convincing people that some of these were you. Whatever. Somebody’s gotta do it.

1. trap everyone at a Peta rally inside a theater and release killer bees
2. put the aerosol bio-weapon that’s killing Jack Bauer in AXE body spray
3. crop dust a few NASCAR races
4. sell peanuts tainted with salmonella exclusively at Yankee stadium
5. put a secret suicidal subliminal message in any song by Britney Spears or Amy Winehouse.
6. geese could fly into the jet engines of a plane carrying Skip Bayless, Sam Raimi, and the entire cast of The Hills
7. (feel free to chime in, losers)

This video pretty much sums it up, but I’ll gladly take a few moments of my employer’s time to give you wankers a few more:
(more…)

When I’m having a bad day, I just watch this commercial. And thank the gods that I am amazing enough to appreciate this. I need to grow out my beard again, as do all of you. But first, I need to go buy some Dos Equis.

Happy Easter, sinners.

I never really got the whole Kindle craze, but I now see the light.  I wonder if they have a neck strap for easy access?

I’ve been known to occasionally visit websites that don’t involve cylons, superheroes, and fantasy baseball. Sometimes I even peruse websites that are supposed to report factual, important, world issues. Let’s say most of the time I like to think I have my finger on the pulse of planet Earth. I hear there are some important people in London this week. So, I figured I’d go to cnn.com to sort it all out.
Wrong. Check below the headlines this morning.
Folks, the end is nigh.

CNN.COM HEADLINES 8am EDT 04/02/2009
Latest News
N. Korea warns Japan not to shoot down rocket
Rollins: Obama finds the world blames U.S.
iReport.com: Is Obama risking overexposure?
Ticker: Obama makes iPod mix for the Queen
CNNMoney: Check the future of home prices
Nebraska family missing nearly two weeks
Neighbor, 59, admits kissing missing girl, 8
Indictment: Group held, tortured teen for year
Roland Martin: High cigarette tax? Great!
Mom urges kids to chug vodka, cops say
Man’s legs severed to fit in coffin?
Dad delivers baby using Internet how-to
Plug pulled on soap opera after 72 years
Pets, owners challenged by increasing allergies
KKTV: Man coughs up 30-year-old-nail
Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is shrinking 5 min
‘American Idol’ blog: Are you as happy as I am?
Valerie Bertinelli hanging on to fat clothes
CNN Wire: 20 militants killed in southern…

You can’t make this shit up. However, I did finally find what I was looking for regarding the crazy protesters and world leader ass-grabbing. And thankfully, evidenced by the picture below, nobody has anything to worry about. IT’S ALL GOOD.

I don’t really have much to add here after finding these youtube gems. Kudos to the chap that took the time to break it all down. Granted, I’m gonna rearrange the order a bit, but these are fucking awesome any way you slice ‘em. Enjoy.
(more…)

Uh. Hey, Slappy Fatone, you’ve got one these, right? If not, here’s the website. Pick me up one if you don’t mind. I’ll use it to shave around my junk.