eviljalapeno.com » WTF?!

Whats wrong with this picture?

SlappyMcNutsack — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 16:36:05 +0000

Tic-Tac-Ho

SlappyMcNutsack — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 04:06:30 +0000

Talking to a buddy of mine, and we dubbed the term Tac-Ho(tacho), refering to a particular type of mexican woman…
Went to check and see if it was up on Urban Dictonary already… it wasn’t, but look what I found.

Tic-Tac-Ho:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tic-Tac-Ho&defid=3898723

How come this is thie first time I’m hearing of this! I’m heading out to buy some Tic Tacs now!

Shit Transplant

SlappyMcNutsack — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:49:19 +0000

I’ve heard of sex changes…
I’ve heard of organ transplants…
I’ve heard of vaginaplasty…
I’ve heard of men getting fake tits…
But leave it to Dr. Meat to throw me off guard and tell me about a new procedure they’re about to start doing:
Fecal Bacteriotherapy.

Typically shit doesn’t bothers me, I’m usually the first person to drop a big duece and send pictures of it out to all my (so-called) friends, but this is fucking disgusting. The jist of it is you replace the bacteria in the colon with bacteria from a donor with good bacteria… done in 2 different ways, either getting an enema with a puree of another person’s shit, or getting a tube down your throat to your stomach and having the shit puree poured in.

Shitting in someone else’s ass… for medicine… WTF!

I’m thinking the doctors somewhere got stoned, watch 2 Girls 1 Cup, and on a dare turned it into a procedure.

This is why I’m not in medicine.

2 Guys 1 Cup

El Chupacabra — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:53:36 +0000

I was at Wendy’s and got a Medium value meal, when I stumbled on to this cup.

WTF

Can you spot the power top? Holy crap how the hell did they miss this?

MLB Discussion

El Chupacabra — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 22:20:20 +0000

The BJ:how is Griffy treating ya?
El Chupacabra: don’t know all I know is the the Yankees are in first
The BJ:dude
The BJ:are you saying what I think you are?
The BJ:although I can’t get over the fact that you are a yankmeoff fan
El Chupacabra: I’m from NYC, I just moved to Seattle
El Chupacabra: jack off
The BJ:and?
El Chupacabra: it could be worst
The BJ:so what’s your point?
El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan
The BJ:you did not just say that
El Chupacabra: I think i did let me check

	El Chupacabra: it could be worst

	El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan

El Chupacabra: yep I did
The BJ:all I can say is name on one hand how many phils did steroids in the past 5-10 years
The BJ:name on two hands how many yanks did
The BJ:they are not legit
El Chupacabra: Dykstra

The BJ:1
The BJ:and that was 16 years ago
El Chupacabra: and The fat one from baseball tonight
The BJ:Kruk did not
The BJ:quite obvious b/c he was fat
El Chupacabra: lol
El Chupacabra: that was camouflage for the roids
The BJ:lol
The BJ:no way
The BJ:he had nut cancer
The BJ:he did not do roids
The BJ:I think you need to look at yourself and the mirror and figure out what is important in life.
The BJ:I guarantee it’s not the Yanks
El Chupacabra: David Bell, Gary Bennett, Jr., Paul Byrd, Lenny Dykstra, Ryan Franklin, Jeremy Giambi, Jason Grimsley, Todd Pratt and Benito Santiago
The BJ:I said past 10 years
El Chupacabra: hey
El Chupacabra: they took’em
The BJ:we did not win shit with those guy
The BJ:guys
The BJ:Dykstra was the only one
The BJ:where did you get that list from?
El Chupacabra: all i have to say
El Chupacabra: is Riods were not illegal in baseball when they took them
El Chupacabra: for fans and the commissioner to get on their high horse now s BS
The BJ:it’s cheating
El Chupacabra: everyone benefited from the roids especially MLB
The BJ:Babe Ruth?
The BJ:Cy Young?
El Chupacabra: Like I said
El Chupacabra: they were not illegal
El Chupacabra: or a banned substance in MLB
The BJ:they did not take them and their records are being challenged
El Chupacabra: yes it’s fucked up
The BJ:that is my issue
The BJ:hey
El Chupacabra: but Selig needs to come off his high horse cause he knew about it and let it go on
El Chupacabra: till the senate got involved
The BJ:it’s like saying my web site is better than evil after I pay for a top dollar web designer
The BJ:and claiming I did it myself
The BJ:do you think Slappy would be happy about it?
El Chupacabra: He’s never happy
The BJ:HAHAHAHAHA
El Chupacabra: unless he’s getting paid
El Chupacabra: lol
The BJ:or drunk at a TT bar
El Chupacabra: or a reacharound
The BJ:or a dutch rudder
El Chupacabra: or a rusty trombone
The BJ:hot karl
El Chupacabra: and a dirty sanchez
The BJ:walrus
El Chupacabra: or performing the dolphin
The BJ:with a side of a cincinnati steamer
El Chupacabra: and across the river for a pittsburgh platter
The BJ:by way of a screwnicorn
El Chupacabra: and giving some chick the Indian goggles
The BJ:stuck
The BJ:damn!
El Chupacabra: lol
The BJ:roman helmet
The BJ:damnit that’s what I could not remember!
El Chupacabra: and then yelling the girl sister’s name and getting the bucking bronco
The BJ:yes!

What’s up doc?

SlappyMcNutsack — Thu, 21 May 2009 06:11:52 +0000

At the hospital earlier this month…
found this…
I really have no idea what this means…
but it put wierd visuals in my head:

Nice try, Mother Nature.

Dr. Meat — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:14:08 +0000

Swine flu? Really? Come on, Mother Nature. Your attempts to thin out stupid people have been pretty weak lately. You’re not even gonna make a dent using something that can be prevented by soap and water? You haven’t done anything worth a shit since ~~Katrina~~ Deep Impact. I have some ideas. However, I’d have trouble convincing people that some of these were you. Whatever. Somebody’s gotta do it.

1. trap everyone at a Peta rally inside a theater and release killer bees
2. put the aerosol bio-weapon that’s killing Jack Bauer in AXE body spray
3. crop dust a few NASCAR races
4. sell peanuts tainted with salmonella exclusively at Yankee stadium
5. put a secret suicidal subliminal message in any song by Britney Spears or Amy Winehouse.
6. geese could fly into the jet engines of a plane carrying Skip Bayless, Sam Raimi, and the entire cast of The Hills
7. (feel free to chime in, losers)

You’ve Got to be Fisting Me!

El Chupacabra — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:27:22 +0000

Ok I have seen some crazy shit being sold by people trying to cash in on Obama, but this one is too funny. I introduce the Chia Obama, yes you heard right! This Chia comes in two versions “Happy” and “Determined”. The animation is hilarious, you can see how Obama would look like with a Fro and corn roles.

Did no one have the imagination to make a Chia Bush or better yet a Chia Lewinsky cigar dispenser the name alone makes me want to buy one.

For Retards? Yeah, Sexy Retards.

Dr. Meat — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 12:28:08 +0000

Uh. Hey, Slappy Fatone, you’ve got one these, right? If not, here’s the website. Pick me up one if you don’t mind. I’ll use it to shave around my junk.

I could have saved him some time…

SlappyMcNutsack — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 16:58:09 +0000

Submitted by SleazyRyder:

Apparently, some spear fisherman fought a 12-foot tiger shark to the death for two hours. Read the article closely. Specifically, the sixth paragraph. Do you see anything wrong with the strategy this guy used?

http://www.nypost.com/seven/03122009/news/nationalnews/moment_of_tooth_159201.htm

(In case you don’t want to read the whole article, here’s the suspect part, I added the emphasis:
“During the underwater struggle, Clasen speared the shark seven times and even attempted to drown it before finishing it off with a long-blade knife. It wasn’t clear how often Clasen had to resurface to breathe. “Once I shot it in the gills I felt a moral obligation to finish the job,” he said. “In the end we put a knife in its skull.” )

For future reference, if you’re in a life-and-death struggle with a lion, tiger, or any other animal, drowning it might be an effective way to win the fight. If you’re fighting a fish, however, you might want to go straight to the knife…