I don’t really have much to add here after finding these youtube gems. Kudos to the chap that took the time to break it all down. Granted, I’m gonna rearrange the order a bit, but these are fucking awesome any way you slice ‘em. Enjoy.
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Uh. Hey, Slappy Fatone, you’ve got one these, right? If not, here’s the website. Pick me up one if you don’t mind. I’ll use it to shave around my junk.

Yeah, yeah, I know…it’s been awhile, but I’m back. It’s been hard to motivate what with figuring out how to spend all the money I’ve been winning during March Madness and then digesting the Battlestar Galactica finale. Anyway, here’s another epic installment of the greatest blog event in the history of history.
Round One: Silver Surfer v. Punisher

1. Kicking Ass.
The Surfer is another one of those characters that on paper looks to be god-like. His Cosmic Power, a “gift” from the giant purple world-eater whom he served for most of his time in comic books, in its description should make this guy unbeatable. He is, in a way, the blue-print (sorry) for Dr. Manhattan, and not only because they look similar and don’t wear pants. Surfer can bend time, alter matter, heal, and inhibit other mutant’s powers. He can also manipulate the evolution of organic life. Pretty cool.
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Ever have that awkward moment when a girl is stroking you and all you can think is… WTF are you doing? It’s like you just want to grab your cock out of the bitch’s hands and finish yourself off. How do you tell a girl mid-stroke that her technique sucks and you’d rather masturbate to the thought of Bea Arthur buttfucking Lance Armstrong with a green and purple polka-dotted strap-on, then to let her finish you off?

Finally a solution… Send her to: http://www.handjobadvice.com

Is it weirder that this site exists, or that Dr. Meat went straight to the technique called “Milking the Bull“?

This is exhibit A why Louis CK is not only a funny motherfucker, but also a prophet for our times.

Finally a reason to want to go to the library.  I’m not exactly sure what the rules are, but I think I can figure it out.  Who’s in?

I downloaded the demo on PS3 for the new Watchmen game. Pretty good. Check it out:

I’m so fucking sick of shooters, nobody seems to be able to make one that comes even close to the awesomeness of the Call of Duty series, so until the next CoD game comes out (I’m so sick of WW2), I’m going to back away from shooters for a while.
With that said, I looked around for a driving or fighting game, but instead found a flight combat game, H.A.W.X.
While standing there lookign at the box, I thought, wow, this is going to suck ass… First, it has a lame name, Second, it’s made by UBISOFT, who took such an awsome concept like Rainbow Six Las Vegas, and made it a shitty game, Third, UBISOFT is French, wtf do they know about fighting, let alone a flight-combat game? So, as I set the box back down, I saw the game set up on a demo machine, and I gave it a shot, well, I guess I was wrong, it wasn’t that bad at all, in fact, the demo was enough to convince me to buy it.
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Submitted by SleazyRyder:

Apparently, some spear fisherman fought a 12-foot tiger shark to the death for two hours. Read the article closely. Specifically, the sixth paragraph. Do you see anything wrong with the strategy this guy used?

http://www.nypost.com/seven/03122009/news/nationalnews/moment_of_tooth_159201.htm

(In case you don’t want to read the whole article, here’s the suspect part, I added the emphasis:
“During the underwater struggle, Clasen speared the shark seven times and even attempted to drown it before finishing it off with a long-blade knife. It wasn’t clear how often Clasen had to resurface to breathe. “Once I shot it in the gills I felt a moral obligation to finish the job,” he said. “In the end we put a knife in its skull.” )

For future reference, if you’re in a life-and-death struggle with a lion, tiger, or any other animal, drowning it might be an effective way to win the fight. If you’re fighting a fish, however, you might want to go straight to the knife…

So, Oprah is so damn hangry she could eat Tyler Perry. And I’d bet my pimp hand that The View has lost their minds discussing all the different ways Chris Brown should die. But what’s more entertaining are the views of America’s teens: (more…)