Wow, I wish this was a real product!

New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free

Question:
If you’re a pedofile, and you’ve run out of tricks to lure kids to your bedroom (papparazi always following you, too many court subpenas, sold off your window-less van in your ranch auction), what options do you have left?

Answer:
Create a video game.

Looks like Michael Jackason is once again trying to wiggle his way back into the hands of little kids around the world (video game controller, not what you were thinking… perv).

See Source:
http://translate.google.com/translate?js=n&prev=_t&hl=nl&ie=UTF-8&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.9lives.be%2Fgamepublishers%2F9lives%2Fnieuws%2Fnieuw-michael-jackson-game-op-komst&sl=nl&tl=en&history_state0=

Maybe MJ’s been having a dryspell and he’s reverting to one of his old tricks, check out awesomeness (sarcasm) from 1990:

Are Chastity “Chaz” Bono, the transgender daughter/son of Sonny and Cher, and Jonah Hill actually the same person? You decide:

5 people who pissed me off today.

1) The asshole eating food really loud.
Does everyone in a 4 row radius from you on the plane really need to hear you chomping on your potato chips.. dick, your fat ass doesn’t need them anyway!

2) Highway drivers in St. Louis.
Faster traffic in the left lanes, slower traffic in the right lanes. How fucking hard is that?
Who the fuck drives 50 miles an hour in the fast lane! And quit driving right next to the other cars so nobody can pass you! Cunt!

3) Bluetooth wearing, loud cell phone talking mother fucker.
Another dickhead who needs to shut the fuck up! For fucks sake, am I the only one that doesn’t want everyone all up in my business when I’m on the phone. And really, a bluetooth headset isn’t a fashion statement, take the fucking thing out of your ear when you’re not using it.

4) The Douchebag who writes the whole content of their email in the subject line.
It’s a subject line… subject line… Not entire fucking message line. Are you really so fucking busy you can’t hit Tab once?

5) The other 3 writers on this blog.
Shit, you wanted to be a writer… so fucking write something! I’m sick of excuses like… I don’t have time at work, I’m at school, I’m fishing, I’m sucking a fat dick, I’m planning my wedding, I’m on my period, I’m ghey, etc…

Sorry for the lack of content. I’ve been pretty busy impersonating Tony LaRussa on Twitter?

from espn.com

ST. LOUIS — St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa is suing the social-networking site Twitter, claiming an unauthorized page that used his name to make light of drunken driving and two Cardinals pitchers who died damaged his reputation and caused emotional distress.
The suit filed last month in the Superior Court of California in San Francisco seeks unspecified damages.
La Russa had little to say about the suit.
“I’m not discussing it except to say that our foundation attorney is taking care of it,” the manager told The Associated Press.
Messages left Thursday with La Russa’s attorney and San Francisco-based Twitter were not returned.
The lawsuit claims that someone created a false account under La Russa’s name and posted updates, known as “tweets,” that gave the false impression that the comments came from La Russa. The suit said the comments were “derogatory and demeaning” and damaged La Russa’s trademark rights.
The account bearing La Russa’s name is no longer active. The lawsuit includes a screen shot of three tweets. One posted on April 19 said: “Lost 2 out of 3, but we made it out of Chicago without one drunk driving incident or dead pitcher.”