The BJ:how is Griffy treating ya?
El Chupacabra: don’t know all I know is the the Yankees are in first
The BJ:dude
The BJ:are you saying what I think you are?
The BJ:although I can’t get over the fact that you are a yankmeoff fan
El Chupacabra: I’m from NYC, I just moved to Seattle
El Chupacabra: jack off
The BJ:and?
El Chupacabra: it could be worst
The BJ:so what’s your point?
El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan
The BJ:you did not just say that
El Chupacabra: I think i did let me check

	El Chupacabra: it could be worst 

	El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan 

El Chupacabra: yep I did
The BJ:all I can say is name on one hand how many phils did steroids in the past 5-10 years
The BJ:name on two hands how many yanks did
The BJ:they are not legit
El Chupacabra: Dykstra

(more…)

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra was absolutely horrible. I mean it sucked. Nice effort, assholes.

This how awesome I had hoped Storm Shadow would be:



This is how awesome he really was:

We all know the feeling. Sometimes a man can only be pushed so far before he spits in the face of “the man”. So what else can a man be expected to do when he’s been backed into a corner? When his license has already been taken away for DUI and his thirst for cheap beer has not been quenched? Something deeply, profoundly stupid…

Via STLtoday:

BELLEVILLE, IL— With a revoked license because of a previous drunken-driving conviction, Dennis Cretton shouldn’t drive.

But authorities say that didn’t stop the 49-year-old Belleville-area man from drunkenly driving up to a gas station for more beer –on his yellow riding lawnmower.

Cretton has been charged with felony aggravated driving under the influence after neighbors reported he was weaving in and out of traffic on his lawnmower Friday night.

When deputies tried to stop him, authorities say Bretton drove the mower into his home’s front yard, his 12-pack of Milwaukee’s Best spilling onto the ground along the way.

Cretton is free on $10,000 bond. Calls to his home went unanswered Tuesday.

So with what spare time I do have, I’m either giving the dogs a bath or I’m reading comics in bed usually eating some chili-cheese fritos and slurping on the Liquid Artillery special from 7-11.
As of today, I’m somewhat caught up on this new Batman story.
SPOILER ALERT: HE’S DEAD.
Yeah, ok, super heroes have died before. Usually they come back. Well, they better bring back the Bat toot sweet. If I have to read too much more about this sissy Nightwing and his new side-kick, Batman’s turd-child, I’m gonna go Adam West on a hooker. And not old-time Adam West, I’m talking Family Guy Adam West. Seriously, it’s like the old Robin from the t.v. show somehow impregnated Luke Skywalker through ass rape. And out popped this whiny little ninja, Damian.
I refuse to accept that comics are written for kids. They’re to be written for me. Only me, with more sex and violence then is thought acceptable.
Superman, go find Batman and get his ass back to Gotham before it turns into shitville.

I hear multiple times per day from the Nutsack, “Put up a post you muthaofadouchebag” or “You’re the shittiest blogger of the face of the planet”, etc, etc.
He’s right, and I don’t really have a decent believable excuse for my lack of awesomeness besides that I’ve been working hundreds of hours a week saving the planet from destitute white-trash assholes that walk the Earth with an ultimate feeling of entitlement because this is America and they had a job once or because their grandfather was in ‘Nam or because their gay uncle molested them. Nevermind the fact that they smack their kids, ate a meth sandwich for lunch, or spent their welfare check on lottery tickets, it’s a hard-knock life out there hova. So when life gives you lemons, you gotta just learn to make poop toys.