Now that the Yankees have signed CC Sabathia to the richest contract for a pitcher in baseball history, and then added another ricockulous contract for AJ Burnett, they have turned their pursuit to acquiring Derek Lowe, Mark Texiera, Ben Sheets, Lebron James, Michael Phelps, Tom Brady, Michael Jordan, Pele, Nolan Ryan, Joe Montana, Ronaldo, Tiger Woods, Mary Lou Retton, Syd Finch, The Mighty Casey, and the ghost of Walter Peyton. (more…)

So, news reports today confirm that the loud beeping sound we’re all hearing is the dump truck full of money that the Yankees are currently backing up to CC Sabathia’s doorstep. The rumor is a contract in the 6-year, $150 million dollar range. They must be paying by the pound these days.

Also rumored are some perks like access to a private jet, his own island, midget slaves, and a lifetime supply of Burger King. Personally, I hope he takes the Brewers’ offer of $100 million for 5 years with unlimited cheese, sausages and Miller products.