Hall of Famer Kurt Warner’s in. Larry Fitzgerald sounds more like a middle school math teacher, than the greatest receiver in the history of history. And the Cardinals’ defense kept it rollin’.
Baltimore had a rookie QB. And it finally mattered against the greatest defense in the history of history. Nineteen turnovers in the final six minutes isn’t gonna get you to the Big Game. And Pittsburgh has a Pro Bowler at every position on defense.
So, get ready for the same four awesome Sportcenter headlines crammed down your throat for two weeks:
1. Kurt Warner loves his wife. Who, shockingly, doesn’t look as much like a troll-goblin-lesiban-softball coach as she did last time Kurt was in a Super Bowl. Mostly because she has more hair.
2. Anquan Boldin just wants to win Super Bowls.
3. Mike Tomlin is black tough.
4. Is Brett Farve coming back?
Now the early spread I jumped on was Arizona +7. This is because everyone thinks Pittsburgh’s defense is gonna make Arizona one-dimensional. Warner gets forced into throwing the ball deep every play. Steelers force turnovers and it’s a rout, kinda like what they always do. So, what you think should happen won’t. This game will be close. And if…if Arizona gets a lead, which they could easily do and make Pittsburgh chuck it. Forget it. Bet the beet farm.

My “lock of the week” bet is the Colts (-1.5) over the Packers at home.  I have it in almost all of my parlays, and I’ll probably place a straight bet on it as well.  I think Manning is back to normal, and the defense is playing with some desperation after the early hole they’ve put themselves in this season.  For those of you in the know, that means that you should put all of your life savings on the Packers and ride that bet all the way to a nice beachfront property in Maui.


My upset picks are the Broncos (+3) at the Patriots and the Saints (+3) at Carolina.  Also, I’m picking the Rams (+7.5) to cover, because Jim Haslett just finalized a contract that guarantees him the head coaching position next year if the team wins 5 more games this year.  Naturally, since I don’t want Haslett running the Rams next year, the universe will find a way for them to win those 5 games, just to spite me.