eviljalapeno.com

Whats wrong with this picture?

SlappyMcNutsack — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 16:36:05 +0000

The Force

SlappyMcNutsack — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:40:06 +0000

From: http://www.xkcd.com

The played out saying of the week is….

SlappyMcNutsack — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:08:06 +0000

“Who Dat!”

OK, you won the Superbowl… its over.
Move on with your lives.

Where’s Katrina when I need her!

Tic-Tac-Ho

SlappyMcNutsack — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 04:06:30 +0000

Talking to a buddy of mine, and we dubbed the term Tac-Ho(tacho), refering to a particular type of mexican woman…
Went to check and see if it was up on Urban Dictonary already… it wasn’t, but look what I found.

Tic-Tac-Ho:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tic-Tac-Ho&defid=3898723

How come this is thie first time I’m hearing of this! I’m heading out to buy some Tic Tacs now!

Shit Transplant

SlappyMcNutsack — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:49:19 +0000

I’ve heard of sex changes…
I’ve heard of organ transplants…
I’ve heard of vaginaplasty…
I’ve heard of men getting fake tits…
But leave it to Dr. Meat to throw me off guard and tell me about a new procedure they’re about to start doing:
Fecal Bacteriotherapy.

Typically shit doesn’t bothers me, I’m usually the first person to drop a big duece and send pictures of it out to all my (so-called) friends, but this is fucking disgusting. The jist of it is you replace the bacteria in the colon with bacteria from a donor with good bacteria… done in 2 different ways, either getting an enema with a puree of another person’s shit, or getting a tube down your throat to your stomach and having the shit puree poured in.

Shitting in someone else’s ass… for medicine… WTF!

I’m thinking the doctors somewhere got stoned, watch 2 Girls 1 Cup, and on a dare turned it into a procedure.

This is why I’m not in medicine.

2 Guys 1 Cup

El Chupacabra — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:53:36 +0000

I was at Wendy’s and got a Medium value meal, when I stumbled on to this cup.

WTF

Can you spot the power top? Holy crap how the hell did they miss this?

We’re Back…

SlappyMcNutsack — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:29:27 +0000

Well, the McRib’s back, not the lazy writers of eviljalapeno!

I know what I’m eating tonight (and every night the rest of the week)!

MLB Discussion

El Chupacabra — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 22:20:20 +0000

The BJ:how is Griffy treating ya?
El Chupacabra: don’t know all I know is the the Yankees are in first
The BJ:dude
The BJ:are you saying what I think you are?
The BJ:although I can’t get over the fact that you are a yankmeoff fan
El Chupacabra: I’m from NYC, I just moved to Seattle
El Chupacabra: jack off
The BJ:and?
El Chupacabra: it could be worst
The BJ:so what’s your point?
El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan
The BJ:you did not just say that
El Chupacabra: I think i did let me check

	El Chupacabra: it could be worst

	El Chupacabra: I could be a phillies fan

El Chupacabra: yep I did
The BJ:all I can say is name on one hand how many phils did steroids in the past 5-10 years
The BJ:name on two hands how many yanks did
The BJ:they are not legit
El Chupacabra: Dykstra

The BJ:1
The BJ:and that was 16 years ago
El Chupacabra: and The fat one from baseball tonight
The BJ:Kruk did not
The BJ:quite obvious b/c he was fat
El Chupacabra: lol
El Chupacabra: that was camouflage for the roids
The BJ:lol
The BJ:no way
The BJ:he had nut cancer
The BJ:he did not do roids
The BJ:I think you need to look at yourself and the mirror and figure out what is important in life.
The BJ:I guarantee it’s not the Yanks
El Chupacabra: David Bell, Gary Bennett, Jr., Paul Byrd, Lenny Dykstra, Ryan Franklin, Jeremy Giambi, Jason Grimsley, Todd Pratt and Benito Santiago
The BJ:I said past 10 years
El Chupacabra: hey
El Chupacabra: they took’em
The BJ:we did not win shit with those guy
The BJ:guys
The BJ:Dykstra was the only one
The BJ:where did you get that list from?
El Chupacabra: all i have to say
El Chupacabra: is Riods were not illegal in baseball when they took them
El Chupacabra: for fans and the commissioner to get on their high horse now s BS
The BJ:it’s cheating
El Chupacabra: everyone benefited from the roids especially MLB
The BJ:Babe Ruth?
The BJ:Cy Young?
El Chupacabra: Like I said
El Chupacabra: they were not illegal
El Chupacabra: or a banned substance in MLB
The BJ:they did not take them and their records are being challenged
El Chupacabra: yes it’s fucked up
The BJ:that is my issue
The BJ:hey
El Chupacabra: but Selig needs to come off his high horse cause he knew about it and let it go on
El Chupacabra: till the senate got involved
The BJ:it’s like saying my web site is better than evil after I pay for a top dollar web designer
The BJ:and claiming I did it myself
The BJ:do you think Slappy would be happy about it?
El Chupacabra: He’s never happy
The BJ:HAHAHAHAHA
El Chupacabra: unless he’s getting paid
El Chupacabra: lol
The BJ:or drunk at a TT bar
El Chupacabra: or a reacharound
The BJ:or a dutch rudder
El Chupacabra: or a rusty trombone
The BJ:hot karl
El Chupacabra: and a dirty sanchez
The BJ:walrus
El Chupacabra: or performing the dolphin
The BJ:with a side of a cincinnati steamer
El Chupacabra: and across the river for a pittsburgh platter
The BJ:by way of a screwnicorn
El Chupacabra: and giving some chick the Indian goggles
The BJ:stuck
The BJ:damn!
El Chupacabra: lol
The BJ:roman helmet
The BJ:damnit that’s what I could not remember!
El Chupacabra: and then yelling the girl sister’s name and getting the bucking bronco
The BJ:yes!

Movie Review.

Dr. Meat — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:22:06 +0000

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra was absolutely horrible. I mean it sucked. Nice effort, assholes.

This how awesome I had hoped Storm Shadow would be:

This is how awesome he really was:

Winner.

EvilJeenyus — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 21:25:00 +0000

We all know the feeling. Sometimes a man can only be pushed so far before he spits in the face of “the man”. So what else can a man be expected to do when he’s been backed into a corner? When his license has already been taken away for DUI and his thirst for cheap beer has not been quenched? Something deeply, profoundly stupid…

Via STLtoday:

BELLEVILLE, IL— With a revoked license because of a previous drunken-driving conviction, Dennis Cretton shouldn’t drive.

But authorities say that didn’t stop the 49-year-old Belleville-area man from drunkenly driving up to a gas station for more beer –on his yellow riding lawnmower.

Cretton has been charged with felony aggravated driving under the influence after neighbors reported he was weaving in and out of traffic on his lawnmower Friday night.

When deputies tried to stop him, authorities say Bretton drove the mower into his home’s front yard, his 12-pack of Milwaukee’s Best spilling onto the ground along the way.

Cretton is free on $10,000 bond. Calls to his home went unanswered Tuesday.